All The Single Ladies and Gentlemen

I’ve been wanting to start writing again, but I couldn’t really figure out what topics to write on. I didn’t really feel like my goal in this blog was really relevant or clear, and I want to make a defined direction. However, I had no clue what to write on. I’m only 20 (nearly 21), haven’t even finished my associates program, not in a relationship (and have never been), and still live with my parents. I don’t really have a whole lot of life experience, that or it’s not very broad. But recently, I was feeling super lonely, tired of being single, and just kind of hoping that my dream guy would fall from the heavens and we’d live happily ever after, the end.

Obviously, stuff like that doesn’t happen on a regular basis, so there was a period of me having to slap myself in the face every day and remind myself that I don’t need a guy. I’ve got friends and family that love me so much and a God that loves me more than I love myself (which, some days, is not at all).  Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. I can do my own thing and, when I live on my own, I won’t have to worry about another person. And, although being single is not the worst thing in the world, it can get pretty lonely. Now, I don’t want to assume anything, but I’m sure that the majority of single people have had that experience. There is something that is so deep within almost everyone that wants something more.

So, after I kind of dusted myself off from this little incident, I started looking for resources for singles; podcasts, blogs, videos, books. I wanted biblical insight that goes a bit beyond “Paul was single too.” You know what I found? I found how-to-prepare-for-your-future-spouse, you’re-worrying-too-much-about-getting-married-get-over-it, and let’s-look-at-these-people-in-the-bible-who-were-single-but-still-ended-up-married blogs. Honestly, I didn’t even know what I was looking for, but it sure as heck was not a single one of those topics! Sure, those things help a lot of people and have helped me in the past, but it’s not what I needed in the moment.

I needed to hear that someone else is struggling with the same things I am. I wanted to know that I’m not the only one who feels like I do. I don’t want to hear about someone who got married after waiting and so will you! But I also don’t want to hear about the people who have given up on even trying because they’re passed their 30’s. I don’t want to hear someone tell me what I’m doing wrong (because they have no idea who I am). I want to hear about someone like me, but I can’t find anyone! Not only that, but all of these blogs and podcasts are telling me what to do. There’s no connection, no sincere, “I feel you, girl!” At least not when I read them.

So, naturally the only solution is to put my own life on the internet (welcome to 2017). I figure that the majority of people like me are too embarrassed or shy to admit the things that I plan to admit. It’s not exactly easy, but I think it’s necessary. If I can help at least one person then I’ve accomplished my goal. I just want people to see the raw single life. I want to document how I felt and what I use to cope with my emotions (hint: it’s usually the Bible). Because I think that a lot of times, when we read these blog posts or listen to these podcasts, they are like super expository. What’s missing is the emotion.

So, I hope that this details what I hope to accomplish. I don’t mean to sound bitter or harsh, I’m just expressing my feelings in the hopes that someone will identify with them. I want people to ask me questions and tell me their experiences with being single so feel free to stop by the Contact section of my blog and shoot me a message.

MBTI Personality Types

School is always crazy, so I haven’t been able to add anything new. But anyway, I would like to add something to my introduction that has kinda been my obsession for the past couple of weeks. It’s the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality test. I have taken a few very reliable tests, and each of them have given me the same result: INFP. We INFPs make up about 4% of the population, are the ninth most common personality type (which puts us midrange of the 16 personalities), and we have a tendency to be creative (Truity.com). I feel like this is my true personality types cause I’ve always been really artistic and I actually was planning on going to the Art Institute of Chicago for awhile. But when I started working at Chick-fil-A two years ago, I met some Deaf people that were so sweet, but I didn’t know enough sign to fully communicate with them and that frustrated me so much. That’s a different story for a different time, but I made a huge change in my career choice, which also happens to be a common career for INFPs, I suddenly decided to become an interpreter.

Something that I noticed about my personality is that I am often put right in between extrovert and introvert. I think this is because my energy is unusually high for an introvert and I am very empathetic, but for the most part I enjoy being in a calm atmosphere either by myself or with a few people I know well. I am definitely what they call a “Dreamer” because I spend a lot of my time thinking about things that may or may not be completely possible, I think of new ways to look at existing theories, I play out scenarios so that I am not caught off guard in new situations, and I contemplate my life path. My emotions often get the best of me, and I have caused some issues between me and other people but only because I have a tendency to care too much. I am the Queen of Winging-it, most of my presentations in school have been completely unrehearsed and anytime I have plans with people they are mostly half-baked and we just stand around like…

Them: “So what we gonna do?”

Me: “I don’t know, what you wanna do?”

But anyway, knowing my own personality type has given me access to my strengths and weeknesses and I’ve learned to overcome some common obstacles for INFPs. Something that I had to come to terms with is I need interpersonal skills to be an interpreter, cause interpreters are not just robots. I’ve been working on approaching people and being friendly, even though I’m still extremely awkward. For some that comes naturally, but for me I have to work at it. And this is just one example of things that differ from each personality. An ENFJ may have better people skills than an INFP, but the cognitive process of interpreting comes much easier to the INFP. That’s the most important part, I think, of knowing your personality. You can use your strengths to the fullest extent and you can learn about your weeknesses and try to make it better for yourself. You’ll also be able to learn how others work and which people your compatible and those who you should stay away from.

But I mean, the more I read about INFPs, the more I feel like someone actually gets me. I seriously want to meet more INFPs because I could never understand why I couldn’t make friends or why I reacted to things the way I did. I realize that I was looking at the things that I wanted to be instead of looking at the things that I was. I grumble and groan when I have to clean the house or do my homework because it’s the same thing over and over. But I love going to Life Groups because I get to learn new things about other people and about the Bible. I’ve always been a curious person and that has helped me to expand my knowledge from how an atom works to the newest Kardashian  fails. Finding out my personality has helped me to understand myself in ways that I ever thought was possible. So, now I encourage you to take one of these test (or all of them like I did) and find out your personality type. It’s fun and addicting and you’ll learn so much about yourself.

16personalities.com 50 questions (I have found this one to be very accurate and they give a turbulent/assertive score)

Truity.com 44 questions (This one has a video for all of you visual learners and a career section for those who are unsure of what you want to with your life)

Humanmetrics.com 50-60 questions (I didn’t find the quiz to be as accurate as the other two, it convinced me that I was an ISFP and then an ISFJ :-|. But the information is pretty spot on and it has a list of famous people with each personality type)

MyPersonality 76 questions (This one requires a login but it is very similar to one that I took for a class and it’s pretty accurate)

Short Church-Goer Problems

Short Church-Goer Problem #1

I just thought this would be a fun idea. It’s kind of a play off of the teenager posts from Tumblr (but better). It’s also a good opportunity for me to tell you that I’m 5’1″, a little below average but it makes it easier for me to find a guy who’s taller than me. It’s really the inspiration for this blog. I also wanted to say that really this isn’t just a church-goer problem, it’s a short person problem in general, I just wanted to tie it into my blog. If you can relate to it just laugh at it and move on, please no nasty comments, I won’t tolerate them and (if I ever get the hang of this) delete them. If you’re old enough to type out a coherent thought you should be able to T.H.I.N.K. before you post. If you’ve never seen this before or need a reminder you ask yourself before you say anything: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? Okay, that’s my spiel about being nice to people on the internet. Hopefully I won’t have to ban anybody (can you even do that?). This should be a safe place for everybody.

That’s all for today. Thanks for visiting and I’ll see you next time!

Welcome!

So, this is my first blog post. Actually, this is my first blog ever. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing (but, I mean, don’t we all). I’ll use this post to tell anyone who visits a little bit more about myself that is not included in the about section. Because, frankly, I don’t feel like fixing it.

Hi! My name is Kayla Ramos. I consider my home to be Illinois even though I was born and live in Florida. I lived in Illinois for about seven years and it was really the place where I came to have more self-awareness so that’s maybe why I love it so much. Ergo, I am a big Bears fan (not like that really means anything), I love Portillo’s (well, food in general and they’re opening one in Brandon!), and I have respect for pretty much anyone who is from Chicago. Unless you’re a jerkface, then I don’t like you.

I think this is in my about sections but I’ll expand. I go to Valencia College and my major is sign language interpretation. My goal is to build a Deaf ministry at my church. Honestly, I think that being exposed to ASL and Deaf culture is one of the most life changing things that has happened to me. It has given me a whole new perspective and respect for Deaf people. It’s very disheartening to hear all of the stories about parents who don’t sign with their children, discrimination against deaf people due to their hearing-loss, and just all of the different ways that hearing society tries to put Deaf people in a box that they don’t fit in. I really love what Stevie Wonder said at this years Grammys: “We need to make every single thing accessible to every single person with a disability.” Even though Deaf people don’t consider themselves disabled, but that’s a different subject for a different time, this really speaks to the fact that there are not enough efforts to make things accessible to Deaf people. Anyway, that was kind of a tangent but I’ll get back to my main idea.

More about me, I am a Christian but please don’t let that hinder you from looking at some of my other posts if you’re not a Christian. I’m a real human and far from a perfect one. I’ve made mistakes and will continue to so I want to make this blog as relatable as possible to anyone who stumbles across it. What I want to do with this blog is to share my experiences in life with anyone who relates to them (or doesn’t but is curious about other people) to let you know that other people struggle with the same things, feel the same things, and have the same thoughts. That’s why I included the contact section, so that if you have any questions or need advice to shoot me an email and I can help you to the best of my knowledge.

Well, I think that is all for today. Thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoy my blog!